There are a few dates married men collectively dread — birthdays, anniversaries and the king, Valentine’s Day. “Another Hallmark Holiday,” married guys love to complain, always downplaying the significance of Feb. 14.  It’s sad that days like Valentine’s Day had to be created to remind us to tell those we hold so dearly that we love them. What makes it sadder are the attitudes that some men, more married than not, have as they ignore the message of the day and blame companies like Hallmark.

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They feel obligated and maybe pressured to give their significant others uninspired presents like candy, flowers and jewelry without seizing the moment to express themselves. Some men have the same annual V-Day gift-giving routine — Flowers from Ken’s or Bartz, delivered to her work with a generic message on the card, or chocolate-covered Oreos from Christie’s. Both are amazing gifts, but can it be better? This role behavior that we, as men, occasionally take pride in is the very same patented formula that is leading us toward failed marriages, affairs and then divorce. Consider me the Valentine’s Day version of  George Bailey from “It’s a Wonderful Life,” but instead of finding the meaning of Christmas, I have found the importance of Feb. 14.

While going through my divorce almost four years ago, I realized that my heart had been drowning in words yet I had remained silent.  Simple, well-timed “I love yous” or a more regular expression of how I really felt may have changed the course of my marriage and saved my kids from becoming nomads. These are things I have learned post-divorce, after reviewing the countless tapes in my head like an NFL head coach the Monday following a loss.  Just like Jimmy Stewart did, I am now shouting through the streets of suburbia, trying to wake men up from their “comfort” before it’s too late.

Here are some new Valentine’s Day ideas for dummies (men):

• Cellphone-free dinner: Take her to her favorite restaurant and right before you leave the car, open the glove compartment and surprise her by placing both of your cellphones inside. It is a small but free gesture that should make her smile. Let her know that dinner will be uninterrupted and your conversation is the entertainment.
• Extreme kitchen takeover: For those couples where the woman is primarily in charge of cooking, here’s an opportunity for you to warm her heart. Simply surprise her by making dinner for two. If you have kids, maybe grandma and grandpa (or whoever else you use) will host a sleepover. The gift here is doing something you normally wouldn’t. If you are not confident in the kitchen or have no idea what to make, go online to find a recipe that fits the bill. It’s romantic and delicious. Make sure you pick up a bottle or two of her favorite wine as well.
• Random Facebook post: If you are on Facebook like most of the free world, shock her by posting a meaningful photograph of the two of you together. Then, when Facebook asks for a description, use your heart and find words to tell her exactly how you feel. If you are not great with words, maybe use some of your vows, or vows you wished you would have said. Pro tip: Do not “tag” her in the photo, that way she is surprised when other people tell her.
• Mixtape master:  How long has it been since you have made a mixtape? OK, maybe we don’t make “tapes” anymore, but you can still burn her a CD from a playlist you’ve created. The music you select should represent the soundtrack of your marriage, anything from your couple song, concerts you’ve attended to favorites you have gained along the way. The fact that it is a CD allows room for you to write little notes on the CD cover; make sure you utilize the space. Every word matters, never leave one unsaid. Pro tip: If you are not great with music I have you covered, find my V-Day playlist. Remember, it is about the break from the norm, the thought behind the gift.
• Text from nowhere:  If you are not one who overly expresses your words, try to find some and send them to her in an unexpected text. There has to be a reason why you fell in love with this woman, so why not remind her with one or many random texts.
• Gift from the future: Most of the ideas above are targeting men who have been married for some time, but I have not forgotten you rookies. If you are a newlywed with a pregnant wife/girlfriend or have a newborn, why not start your relationship on the right foot by giving her a gift from the baby? You can give her an empty photo album with a favorite family picture on the cover, or maybe just the ultrasound photo on the first page. Another idea for a pregnant wife is to buy an outfit for the baby to wear home from the hospital. Show her how you see the future, not just today.

If you are reading this and you think that I am wrong, that all women do not like to have overly expressive babbling men as husbands, maybe you are right, but where is the harm in exploring?  The perfect Valentine’s Day gift is the one she would never expect, it is one from your soul and not your wallet.  I am not saying for you to not give gifts, but make sure that every element of the gift is thought out in advance. Never underestimate the gift of your thought.

Men and women are different by design … trust me, women love an overly expressive babbling man, especially if he is babbling over her.

Follow Jeremy Baumhower on Twitter @jeremytheproduc or friend him on Facebook.

Tags: gift guide, gifts, Hallmark, Jeremy Baumhower, Media Watch, Valentine's Day

This entry was posted on Friday, February 8th, 2013 at 1:20 pm and is filed under Arts and Life, Gift Guide, Media Watch.
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Several restaurants participating in this year’s Restaurant Week Toledo can offer patrons suggestions for wine and meal pairings. Many of these venues also offer Valentine’s Day specials.

The third annual Restaurant Week Toledo, presented by Medical Mutual, is set for Feb. 21 to March 2. Participating restaurants are Bar 145, Barr’s Public House, The Blarney Irish Pub, Bobby V’s American Grill, Burger Bar 419, Caper’s Restaurant, Gradkowski’s, ICE Restaurant and Bar, La Scola Italian Grill, Loma Linda, Mancy’s Bluewater Grille, Mancy’s Steaks, Manhattan’s, Maumee Wines and Bistro, The Oliver House (Mutz, Maumee Bay Brew Pub, Rockwell’s and The Café), Plate 21, Poco Piatti, Registry Bistro, Rosie’s Italian Grille, Shorty’s True American Roadhouse, Tea Tree Asian Bistro, TREO, Ventura’s and Zinful.

Each venue will feature a special Restaurant Week menu priced at $10, $20 or $30. (Drinks, taxes and gratuities are not included unless specified.) A portion of the proceeds will benefit local nonprofit Leadership Toledo’s youth programs.

Barr’s Public House

While the restaurant at 3355 Briarfield Blvd., in Maumee, sells more beer than anything, general manager Stephanie Soldner said she tries to stock unique wines in addition to the standard fare.

“We like to have a nice wine list. I try to pick things that are new and different that you can’t find everywhere,” she said.

Barr’s staff can offer pairing suggestions, Soldner added.

Stephanie Soldner, general manager of Barr’s Public House.

“If you have a lighter food or a lighter salad or a lighter fish option, you want to choose a lighter wine because you don’t want the wine to overpower the flavor of the food. Now if you have a heavier food like a steak or something meaty, you want more of a heavier wine,” she said. “The same thing goes with beer as well.”

Chef Lisa LeFevre agreed.

“There are many ways to go wrong with pairing a drink with food and many ways to ruin food or a drink by putting the wrong ones together,” she said. “It can enhance your meal or elevate it, or it can take you down to bitter town.”

The date is still being determined, but a red wine tasting will occur in late February at the eatery, Soldner said. The “Mile High Club,” where patrons can sample different drink flights, is also set to start soon.

For Valentine’s Day, Barr’s Public House, which opened in January 2012, will feature tiered menu options for couples and double-daters at $50, $75 and $100 per couple. The menu will also feature drink options like O’Fallon Cherry Chocolate Beer and blood orange margaritas in addition to wine.

There will be live music from 8-11 p.m. Feb. 14 and a Ladies’ Night, featuring drink and small bite deals, will also take place from 7 p.m. to close.

The Valentine’s menu will feature a scallop special that recently debuted to rave reviews, LeFevre said.

“[The scallops are] from New Bedford, Mass. They’re wild caught. They’re probably two inches in diameter and at least an inch and a half high. They’re gigantic and delicious,” she said.

The restaurant will also feature a dessert special of chocolate-covered strawberries rolled in graham cracker and mint over a deconstructed strawberry cheesecake on Valentine’s Day.

Maumee Wines and Bistro

The bistro and wine shop at 2556 Parkway Plaza, in Maumee, features regular wine tastings. The store has been open since 1974 and the bistro opened last year, said sommelier and former owner Richard Fortney.

“Wine is food, first of all. It’s just in a liquid form. If you have the right food and wine pairing — which I think we’re really good at, we’ve been doing it for a long time — then both the wine and the food are going to be enhanced,” he said.

Balanced wines, featuring good fruit and acid and smooth tannins, are more food friendly, Fortney said.

“I have a lot of clients who will bring me their dinner menu and we can go through it and pick wines to complement. We taste everything before we buy it so we have a really good understanding of what the wine is about.”

The bistro charges an $8 corkage fee if patrons wish to select a bottle from the shop to drink with their meals. The bistro also offers wine at retail price.

“What we would sell for $20 here is going to run for $40 in a restaurant and if you drink it here, it’s going to be $28,” said Chef Bill Kolhoff.

The bistro is offering a Valentine’s Day menu at $65 per person. It features six courses and includes options like salmon and dill mousse, chocolate mousse cake and balsamic-lacquered lamb rib chops.

“It’s just a menu that’s meant to have some nice contrasts and flavors,” Kolhoff said. “We don’t rush you through it. We’re not trying to turn tables. So you’re welcome to come in and take your time. The seafood course doesn’t come out until the appetizer course is completely cleared so you can have a little time to sit back and enjoy the wine.”

Middle Grounds Market

Middle Grounds Market opened in The Oliver House, 27 Broadway St., in August. It features wine and beer from all over the world in addition to food items. The market also hosts weekly beer and wine tastings from 5-7:30 p.m. Thursdays and Fridays, said Neal Kovacik, general manager of The Oliver House. For a corkage fee, patrons can buy wine from the shop and take it into The Oliver House’s other restaurants.

“We felt [a market] just went very well with everything else we do in here. It really complemented what we do,” Kovacik said. “People come in for lunch and dinner and come peruse the market.”

“We’d like to be known as the best place in Toledo for good beer, whether it’s our beer or beer from Belgium.”

In about two months, Middle Grounds is set to debut a wine lounge where people can play chess, eat tapas and relax, Kovacik added.

“It’s going to be a unique extension and a very comfortable spot. We’re excited about that,” he said.

At 5-7:30 p.m. Valentine’s Day, there is a chocolate wine tasting for $15 and a chocolate beer tasting for $10.

TREO

The restaurant at 5703 Main St., in Sylvania, typically features a wine and cheese tasting from 6-8:30 p.m. every Thursday for $15. On Valentine’s Day, instead of a tasting a special menu will be featured, said Kaetlyn Obey, general manager and banquet services director for TREO.

The restaurant will feature champagne specials and, when making reservations, customers can request roses from Beautiful Blooms By Jen to be placed at the table, Obey added.

TREO features romantic touches like dimmer lights and rose petals on the tables on Valentine’s, she said, adding that it’s a popular spot for the holiday.

“We’re always completely sold out. Reservations are definitely necessary,” she said.

The regular Thursday wine and cheese tasting has also proven to be popular, Obey said. A sommelier also recently joined the staff and can help customers make selections.

Nowadays, more customers are ordering wine by the bottle instead of by the glass, she said.

Obey added, “Wine knowledge and wine demand has definitely increased. I think people are finding it’s part of the meal instead just an alcoholic beverage.”

Zinful

Zinful, at 7541 Dutch Road, in Waterville, features more than 170 wines, including more than 70 sold by the glass, as well as a rotating local, seasonal and international beer selection. The knowledgeable staff can help guests choose the perfect pairing, said owner Joyce Franzblau.

Zinful offers weekly themed wine tastings from 6-9 p.m. Wednesdays.

“I want people to be able to relax and enjoy wine more,” Franzblau said. “People are very intimidated by wine and feel they should know a lot about it in order to enjoy it. I believe people will experience it more positively if they are less nervous and able to sample things and find something they enjoy. They don’t have to worry about the price or where it comes from. That’s why it can be more overwhelming. That’s why we have so many wines — so we can help you hone in on what you enjoy. People assume wine has to be expensive, but there are some terrific wines at a good value if you know what you are looking for.”

Zinful also offers a wine pairing dinner the last Wednesday of the month and occasional wine classes. The eatery also features a walk-in humidor for cigars.

Toledo Free Press is a media sponsor of Restaurant Week Toledo.

For more information, visit the web site www.restaurantweektoledo.com.

Tags: Bar 145, Barr’s Public House, Bobby V’s American Grill, Burger Bar 419, Caper’s Restaurant, Gradkowski’s, ICE Restaurant and Bar, La Scola Italian Grill, Leadership Toledo, Loma Linda, Mancy’s Bluewater Grille, Mancy’s Steaks, Manhattan’s, Maumee Bay Brew Pub, Maumee Wines and Bistro, Medical Mutual, Plate 21, Poco Piatti, Registry Bistro, Restaurant Week Toledo, Rockwell’s and The Café), Rosie’s Italian Grille, Shorty’s True American Roadhouse, Tea Tree Asian Bistro, The Blarney Irish Pub, The Oliver House (Mutz, Treo, Valentine's Day, Ventura’s, Zinful.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 5th, 2013 at 12:06 pm and is filed under Restaurant Week Toledo, Star.
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Area couples can learn their different “love languages” at St. Patrick of Heatherdowns during March.

The church, which often hosts marriage enrichment classes, will explore marriage counselor Gary Chapman’s communication program “The 5 Languages of Love” during the course a five-week course.

“Everyone shows their love and needs to be loved in a certain way,” said Rita Hoff, St. Patrick of Heatherdowns outreach director. “This class will give couples a greater understanding on how they can relate to one another; how you receive love from them and how they receive love from you.”

Chapman identified five different love languages people primarily identify with:

• words of affirmation
• quality time
• receiving gifts
• acts of service
• physical touch

Couples will take a test at the start of the series to discover what their first and secondary love languages are, Hoff said.

Each week, couples will explore what the love language means.

Deacon Tim Etue will lead group and individual couple discussions about the different forms of communication, Hoff said.

“We all communicate in one of these five love languages. The more we know about what our partners love language is, the better we can communicate with one another,” Hoff said. “People tend to give people gifts that feel good to them rather than giving a person something they want, this will help identify what someone wants.”

Hoff noted someone might prefer his or her spouse helping out around the house to getting a gift of jewelry, as an example.

Sessions are March 3 to March 31 on every consecutive Thursday at the Holy Family Center on the church’s campus, 4201 Heatherdowns Blvd.  Classes are two hours long, from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. The course is free, but space is limited. The deadline to register is Feb. 13. Online registration is available at www.toledostpats.org/page/outreach.

Couples do not need to be Catholic to attend.

Couples will also have the chance to meet others and participate in a beer-and-wine-tasting event Feb. 24, prior to the marriage enrichment classes.

For more information about the different love languages, visit www.5lovelangauges.com.

Tags: St. Patrick of Heatherdowns, Valentine's Day

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 9th, 2011 at 1:04 pm and is filed under Holidays, Star.
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Some may think that Valentine’s Day is just another made up holiday on the calendar to get us to spend money on gifts for that special someone. Did you know that  St. Valentine’s Day actually dates back to 270 A.D., named after the patron saint of lovers? Love poems would be sent to celebrate and show love for one another. This is probably how Valentine’s Day cards came into play in modern times. We have some great ideas, along with Cupid’s help, to find the perfect gift for that special someone on this holiday that will keep the history of love alive.

Flowers and candy are always a great gift, but we have some great ideas that will help you win the heart of your special someone. Valentine’s Day falls on a Sunday this year, so take the day to celebrate your love. If you have kids, plan ahead and find a babysitter. Start the day off with breakfast in bed by serving waffles drizzled with chocolate and fresh strawberries topped with whipped cream and extra toppings. Weather permitting a walk in one of the Metroparks bundled up hand and hand is a great way to connect with one another.  To fill the afternoon a movie would be a great idea to warm up and see something romantic.

The movie “Valentine’s Day” out Feb. 12, would be a great romantic comedy to see, or “Dear John” for the true romantic at heart. Another option would be to rent a few romantic classics and spend the afternoon watching them snuggled up on the couch. Some of our favorites are “The Notebook,” “Ghost” and “The Time Traveler’s Wife,” just to give you a few ideas. To end your perfect date, make your Valentine a favorite meal and don’t forget a dessert to die for. While you are doing, the dishes send him or her to take a bath that you have already drawn with bubbles and rose petals. This will be a day that is hard to top.

If spending the full day together is not an option, we still have some great romantic. A book can be a great gift if you put some thought into it. A book of love poems or the history of St. Valentine’s Day is a really romantic idea. Date the book and put your own message on the front page to make it more personal. Buy a nice journal and write your own love poem on the first page that you can both add to throughout the year. Many of the bookstores have a section of books for Valentine’s Day to help you make your purchase.

A visit to the Toledo Museum of Art is a great date that leaves you some money left to stop and have a romantic dinner and a glass of wine. Gift cards to a spa are a great idea, but why not make it a little interesting by booking a spa day in advance. Call and book a spa day including lunch. Tell your special someone you have a surprise but don’t tell them what.

Take them to the spa and surprise them. Ask the salon to  include a shampoo/style and make up application so you can end the night with dinner at a romantic restaurant.

Most salons and spas also offer couples massages. This is a great time to unwind and relax together. When you get home from this date, be sure to have chocolate-covered strawberries and champagne to toast your love. If splurging on a spa day is not in the budget, why not do it yourself? Set the mood with some candles and romantic music. Dim the lights and have some massage oil warmed up and ready. Give your mate the best massage they ever had. This is a gift they will be requesting more of in the future.

For anyone who is single, we will put a good word in with Cupid for you. Have a happy Valentine’s Day filled with love and candy.

Ali and Alli are beauty experts at NRGIE Salon & Spa in Rossford, Ohio. To contact them or ask them a fashion or beauty question, write them at letters@toledofreepress.com.

Tags: Valentine's Day

This entry was posted on Friday, February 12th, 2010 at 12:00 am and is filed under Arts and Life.
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