Kelly: They walk the lineWritten by Guest Author | | GuestAuthor@toledofreepress.com
I’d like to give you a bit of behind-the-scenes info. Last week we talked about a friend of mine who is unfortunately getting a divorce from his wife, and he kindly allowed me to discuss his issue on the air and write about it.
They have no kids and have been married for about 17 years. He works and she doesn’t. They have their dream house, and everything in their relationship was perfect, or so it seemed.
Apparently they’d been having some difficulty in several areas of their relationship, and couldn’t resolve the issues. (They reached out to me for help for God’s sake … how bad is that?) Anyway, one day she told him that she wanted him out. Not out of the kitchen, the garage or bedroom. Out of the house!
I’ll be honest when I say that I was shocked that she had the guts to tell him to move out of a house that they built together. Just because they were married and she was the wife gives her no more of a right to the house than him. Right? (She thinks I’m wrong … shocker there!)
Things were getting so bad that when he was down in the basement working in his office, she would turn off the circuit breaker. That’s not a big problem when you think about it, but in reality it was a much larger issue.
Most times she clipped off the power while he was using the Internet: Skyping with clients and using programs that she knew needed a constant connection to work.
After a brief conversation with me, I suggested an uninterrupted power supply, or UPS for those geeks out there. Problem solved ,right? Wrong.
She canceled the Internet…and this isn’t a dial-up like you might have at your house. This was an ISDN line. It’s best if you think of this like a super fast Internet connection. OK, I promise no more geek talk.
She was taking the gloves off and making sure that every moment he was home his life was hell. She turned off the heat when he left for work, hid his toiletries, threw out the laundry detergent and so many more things you’d swear I was lying.
It was horrific, and his health started to suffer. He started having serious stomach issues, his hair was falling out and I begged him to go to the doctor to discuss some treatment options. Like most men, he discounted them and dragged on.
The topic I brought up on the air was whether it’s within a woman’s rights to just throw a man out of a house because she doesn’t (or they don’t) want to be married anymore. After taking tons of calls and getting lots of emails and tweets, it came down to the normal response these things come down to: Consult an attorney. I hate those words!
Not that I hate attorneys — quite the contrary. I actually appreciate them for the knowledge they possess. The problem I have with them is that they (most of them) are so willing to walk the line between what’s right and what’s wrong. Basically, I think they have a serious case of poor ethics.
I’m an educated man and I understand that some people need a good scare to get them to realize the gravity of their situation, but threatening to expose things that have no business being exposed in order to get a bigger percentage of the sale of a house, or a more favorable custody agreement of a child is unethical at best. Shame on you! These are the lawyers I dislike.
What I didn’t get a chance to explain on the show last week was that his (soon-to-be) ex-wife decided to pull out a document that had nothing to do with who he was as a person and use it as leverage to get him to give up his interest in his dream house.
I learned this information — and get this — because her lawyer went to school with me and didn’t know that I knew the woman she was representing.
I lost two friends that day, my lawyer friend and my best friend’s ex-wife. I lost them because they lost themselves somewhere between graduating from college and learning how to manipulate someone in exchange for financial gain.
I couldn’t be more disappointed that I once considered these two to be my friends.
I would like to make one thing very clear here: I do not think all lawyers treat people like this, and I don’t think all women act like this. I just wanted to keep the promise I made when I first started this column to pull back the curtain of radio a little bit and give you a little more of the story than we have an opportunity to share on air. Sometimes things don’t work out for the best, but what I do know is that life makes great radio.
Sid Kelly is host of “The Morning Rush,” weekday mornings on 92.5 KISS FM.