Hickey: Broken hearts cross all lifestylesWritten by Emily Hickey | | firstname.lastname@example.org
When someone’s heart breaks, either an outrageous amount of strength develops inside them or the daily reminders of what once was threaten to shatter their world all over again. All of this combined with emotions of anger, sadness and confusion is where I find myself today.
Recently, I experienced the most difficult break up that I have ever had. I’m still baffled by how a couple that loves each other through and through, can be challenged at every turn from outside elements. Elements that attempt to bully them to a breaking point. So at what point does one accept defeat and decide not only to break their own heart but also the heart of the person they love?
After reading a countless number of quotes (Yes, I am the type of person who can be lifted up from a simple quote), I have been trying to truly understand why the right decision always has to be the most heartbreaking. So as I sit here trying to exude strength while tears well up in my eyes, I am constantly reminded that everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t see it right then.
However, that does not make it any easier to eat at our favorite restaurants or listen to the songs that just fit our relationship. Also, it is never easy to know that this heartbreak won’t kill me.
Heartbreak hasn’t completely crushed my brother or my best friend or any other person I know. The way my relationship developed and ended is no different than those of my straight brother or straight best friend. I’ve come to realize that matters of the heart should know no labels.
You see, when the heart of an LGBTQ person is broken, it breaks just the same as the heart of a straight person; it hurts just as much. Not every single one of our relationships is perfect. We feel lonely. We need affection and love just as much as the next person. We also heal over time and begin dating all over again because that is just the way these situations work, whether straight or gay.
We are looking for partners to raise children with; for that person to kiss our forehead when the world caves in; for that person who can help us learn more about ourselves; and for a life companion.
While my heart breaks and I only wish that things could have turned out differently, I take comfort in the fact that one day I’ll find the person who will provide me with the companionship that my parents have had throughout the past 30 years.
As I tried to find solace in our decision to part ways, I found a quote that spans every type of heartache. Whether your heart hurts from the loss of a boyfriend, girlfriend, mother, cousin or whomever, I leave you with the words that have helped me find the strength to keep moving forward.
“There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn and people we can’t live without but have to let go.” — Anonymous
And to the woman I love: “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” — Anonymous
Emily Hickey is an advocate for the LGBTQA community through Toledo Pride and OUTSKiRTS.