A cartoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. Animation is a tremendous vehicle for subversion, as anyone familiar with the work of the Warner Bros “Looney Tunes” series can confirm.

Social satire concerning class disparity, politicians and the government, race and all facets of society are fair game in the land of big-eyed, exaggerated cartoons. It’s true in forums as wildly disparate as newspaper editorial cartoons and television series such as “Family Guy.”

“The Simpsons” are the modern origin point for such commentary; Homer, Marge  and company have explored issues such as alcoholism, care for the elderly and American consumerism in ways that never would have passed network TV censors on live-action shows. “South Park” and its ilk have pushed satire to the edge of its ability to shock, but the format still has the power to surprise, especially when a message pops up in an unexpected place.

The Disney Channel series “Phineas and Ferb” is unapologetically surreal and one of the more entertaining animated shows an adult can sit through with its intended audience of 5 to 14 year olds. It doesn’t often offer any deep particular social messages outside of its characters’ racial harmony, but an episode that recently aired jammed in enough commentary for a whole season.

The titular characters, Phineas and his stepbrother Ferb, are — I’m guessing — about 10 years old. The entire series revolves around their efforts to make the most of summer vacations by embarking on outlandish backyard adventures that include impossible feats of engineering and physics. In one episode, the boys build a full-scale roller coaster that would shame Cedar Point’s best efforts. In another, they travel to the moon with cows because they believe zero-gravity milk will make the best ice cream. During each episode (there are two per half-hour), the boys’ mid-teen sister Candace attempts to bust them by dragging their mom to the backyard, but invariably, the boys’ schemes and inventions have disappeared before they can get in trouble.

Phineas and Ferb have a cadre of friends who aid their plans, including Isabella Garcia-Shapiro,  a neighbor from a “Mexican Jewish” family who leads the Girl Scoutesque Fireside Girls and harbors a crush on Phineas. Isabella, who is rumored to be the subject of a possible spin-off show, is sweetly voiced by Toledo native Alyson Stoner.

Oh, and the boys’ pet, Perry the platypus, is a secret agent who battles an evil scientist named Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, who is as incompetent as he is malicious.

It is in the Perry/Doofenshmirtz segments where the series really soars, incorporating action set pieces and a number of memorable supporting characters, including agency leader Major Monogram, his toady assistant, Carl, and a small army of household pets who serve with Perry (“Agent P” when he dons his agent fedora) as fellow agents. In a late season two episode, “Brain Drain,” the series hit a social satire peak that culminated in a hip-hop song, “There’s a Platypus Controlling Me,” that takes teen angst, mistrust of The Establishment and alienation and jams them into the catchiest rap song this side of a Jay-Z single.

After a typically convoluted battle, Agent P the platypus and Doofenshmirtz tumble down a junkyard hill. Doofenshmirtz’s hands land in a barrel of discarded glue and he somersaults to a two-turntable DJ stand, where his hands stick to the records (YouTube it at www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDtzUymj3Ic). The junkyard happens to be hosting a rave, and Doofenshmirtz’s emo daughter is in the crowd (Giving the hapless Doofenshmirtz an ex-wife and teen daughter is one of the series’ genius touches). The ravers begin to boo and throw things at Doofenshmirtz, until Agent P takes pity on him and uses a mind-control helmet (don’t ask) to push Doofenshmirtz into a rap about being controlled by a platypus (“I got records on my fingers! I got records on my fingers and I just can’t stop!”) The puzzled kids begin to move to the music, listening to Doofenshmirtz rant about the hidden platypus, when one of the crowd stops and says, “I get it! ‘Platypus’ is a metaphor for whatever is keeping you down.”

The teens then chant a litany of what they believe is keeping them down, and while the show’s writers are having fun, the delivery and performances are smart enough to create a real moment of anti-authority protest:

“Corporations are a platypus/The government’s a platypus

Your teacher is a platypus/Society’s a platypus

My parents are a platypus/The media’s a platypus

It’s all just propaganda/We all got a platypus controlling us!”

Eventually, Agent P slips away, Doofenshmirtz sees he is gone, and his triumphant cries of “There’s no platypus controlling me!” inspire the crowd and even win over his estranged daughter. It’s a scene only animation could properly convey with a mix of tongue-in-cheek humor and heart-attack-serious subversion.

It’s not Pete Seeger or Bob Dylan-level protest, but on a show (and network) not known for subversive social satire, it’s a great moment that is being absorbed by 4 million young viewers each time it plays. That the moment is generic,  broadstroke and silly fits the mood of a nation that lacks the interest in making an effort to pursue real hope and change.

But substitute the intensification of “platypus” with “lemming,” and you strike closer to the truth of modern American life than even the minds behind “Phineas and Ferb” intentionally could achieve. It’s a reminder that when you consume something you think is light and inconsequential, you should remain vigilant for the sharp edges and hidden subversions hiding in the fluff.

Michael S. Miller is editor in chief of Toledo Free Press and Toledo Free Press Star. Email him at mmiller@toledofreepress.com.

I attended a reception for the Sylvania Schools Athletic Foundation on Aug. 16, and my interactions there confirmed the impressions left by our Aug. 14 cover story, “Roaring in Sylvania” — these cougars and wildcats have teeth behind their roars.

The Foundation is on a cutting-edge quest for $6.5 million to remake (and considerably raise the bar at) athletic facilities at Sylvania Northview and Sylvania Southview high schools and Arbor Hills, McCord and Timberstone junior high schools.

The Foundation has seemingly made every right move in its drive for new facilities for the 8,000 Sylvania students. Most importantly, it is seeking private money, not taxpayer funds. Superintendant Brad Rieger has assembled an outstanding team, including but not limited to board Chairman John Ross, business leaders Jim Findlay and Rick Stansley and Executive Director Jeanette Hrovatich. It has connected with community leaders such as Mud Hens General Manager Joe Napoli, Keith Walker of Walker Funeral Homes and Doug Kearns, group general manager at Yark Automotive Group.

The plan, as reported by Toledo Free Press Staff Writer Zach Davis: “Northview will add new field turf (for football and soccer), bleachers (for baseball, football and soccer) and field lights (for baseball and football). The school will also add an eight-lane, all-weather track-and-field events area, a ticket booth and a facility for concessions and restrooms.

“Southview will add new field turf, bleachers, home stands and a press box for the football field, as well as portable stands for the band and a facility for concessions and restrooms. Southview also will add new bleachers for baseball and softball and additional soccer seating.

“Northview and Southview will also add 32-foot scoreboards, which include a 10-foot-by-17-foot video screen and five different spaces to sell advertisements.

“Arbor Hills and McCord will have their football fields upgraded to include irrigation and drainage as well as lights, an electronic scoreboard, a press box and an eight-lane track. Timberstone will receive mounding and screening for wind protection and fencing.”

The board’s foresight to assemble an advancement council, its attention to women’s sports with the “Girls with Goal” program and its plan to open the facilities to other local institutions all speak to a well-planned, tremendously organized effort. An upcoming promotion with Sylvania auto dealers demonstrates support in the community.

Toledo Free Press commends the organizers for their efforts and will cover the campaign as it progresses.

Visit www.SupportSylvaniaAthletics.com for more information.

Thomas F. Pounds is president and publisher of Toledo Free Press and Toledo Free Press Star. Contact him at tpounds@toledofreepress.com.

Officials from the Regional Growth Partnership, University of Toledo and its Innovation Enterprises (UTIE) made the joint venture of Rocket Ventures, LLC official at a ceremony Aug. 18 at UT.

RGP President and CEO Dean Monske, RGP Board Chairman Dave Waterman, UT President Lloyd Jacobs and UTIE Chairman Rick Stansley officially signed a document creating the joint venture.

The new entity, Rocket Ventures, LLC, will help companies commercialize their technology, support new technology-based firms and provide seed funding to attract external investments in companies located in the 18-county Northwest Ohio region.

“We’re excited about this new venture, taking two excellent organizations and joining forces to promote new business and jobs. This is truly a regional asset and we want to get this message out across this region,” Monske said.

“It’s another important occasion to celebrate the symbolism of a new partnership that is a relatively new and unique partnership, like a steel rod in concrete, embedded in our community,” Jacobs said. “We have come a tremendous distance to strengthen and build prosperity in Northwest Ohio.”

“It’s very beneficial to bring these assets together,” Stansley said, citing Waterman who “worked tirelessly to make this happen.”

Stansley reported that combining the two entities would produce a savings of $300,000 a year in overhead costs. He said they would be directing those funds to expand services they are providing “to get companies from concept to acceleration in a more effective manner.”

Funding for investments made by Rocket Ventures comes from two funds that will remain separate under the new joint venture according to Stansley. The Rocket Venture fund has between $6 million and $7 million and the UTIE fund has about $3 million.

Stansley said they expect to access another $5 million to $6 million over the next few years to continue such investments. Stansley will serve as chairman of Rocket Ventures, LCC and continue as chairman of UTIE.

The staff of Rocket Ventures has relocated from RGP’s offices in Downtown Toledo to the Clean and Alternative Energy Incubator Building on UT’s main campus.

Dan Slifko serves as president of Rocket Ventures, LLC, and director of Rocket Ventures, an Entrepreneurial Signature Program (ESP) of the Ohio Third Frontier program supervised by the Ohio Department of Development.

“We’re proud of the efforts creating Rocket Ventures to investment in early-stage companies originally funded by the Third Frontier and State of Ohio,” Waterman said. “We have far exceeded expectations with Rocket Ventures working in partnership with UTIE collaborating on a lot of investments (before the joint venture).”

“We are poised to continue our efforts in the future to support early-stage organizations. It’s exactly what Northwest Ohio needed,” he said, pointing out that the region didn’t have local venture capital support before the creation of Rocket Ventures.

Two companies in which both Rocket Ventures and UTIE have invested were represented at the ceremony.

Tony Legeza, president and CEO of Beyond Gaming, said that the start-up company needed some guidance and investment to support the new business.

Beyond Gaming recently introduced a new website for online gaming competition. Legeza said they received 45,000 visitors from 120 different countries to the website in the past 30 days. He reported they are working with two national gaming companies to improve and increase their business.

David Greenberg is COO and CFO of Turning Point, a business that is working with the College of Engineering at UT to develop new equipment for exercise and physical rehabilitation. The company was founded by Alan Schultheis who continues to serve as president and CEO.

Turning Point has received a patent on the TP 4.0 RTP (Rotational Training Platform) and is working with two local companies on the electronics and manufacturing of it.

The investor partners are Lockery Manufacturing of Toledo and Pinnacle Technology Group Inc. of Ottawa Lake, Mich.

“Communities need to work together toward a common goal and we now have Rocket Ventures, UTIE and other local partners working on that common goal to create jobs and wealth in our community,” said Slifko.

There are days I wake up and think, “What next?” That sinking feeling that you are swimming upstream, forever fighting the currents of modern times is not new. Whether it is the latest news report of acts of terrorism abroad, or the efforts of some to fundamentally change that which you know to be true and honorable, the resulting feeling is familiar.
The prophet Jeremiah wrote the Old Testament book of Lamentations while witnessing the conquest of the Jewish people and his home city of Jerusalem by Nebuchadnezzar. The original Hebrew lists the title of this book as “Ah, how” or “Alas,” indicating Jeremiah’s resignation to this fundamental change. In the translation to Greek the title changes to “Wailings.” Whatever the language, the meaning is the same — the fear of loss. Lost freedom. Lost heritage. Lost principles.
Jeremiah clearly was “wailing” at the loss of his city, his people, his heritage, but he sought and found comfort in his faith. He clearly identified the suffering as a direct result of the faults of himself and his people, “My sins have been bound into a yoke … they have been hung on my neck.” Yet he turned to the Lord as his source of strength and endurance. “The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him … ”

This belief and thought is not limited to biblical times or lands. During the founding years of our country, many leaders valued these same lamentations.
In 1774, as the first Continental Congress gathered, they called for an opening prayer. “O Lord our Heavenly Father … we beseech Thee, on these our American States, who have fled to Thee from the rod of our oppressor …  desiring to be henceforth dependent only on Thee. Be Thou present … and direct the councils of this honorable assembly … ” Fast-forward a few years, after a bloody war with the world’s most formidable army, and our own Declaration of Independence concludes “With firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence.”
Thomas Jefferson, to whom some attribute atheist beliefs, said, “I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just, that his justice cannot sleep forever.” Jefferson further echoed the thoughts of Jeremiah when he noted “The God who gave us life, gave us liberty at the same time. The hand of force may destroy, but cannot disjoin them.”
Jefferson saw in the efforts of a British tyrant an attempt to separate us from our freedom by separating us from God. He was not alone. Patrick Henry in a passionate speech to his fellow Virginians said, “It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains.” Benjamin Franklin in Pennsylvania warned, “Man will ultimately be governed by God or by tyrants.” John Adams stated, “It must be felt that there is no national security but in the nation’s humble acknowledged dependence upon God and His overruling providence.”
Abraham Lincoln during the depths of the American Civil War turned not to his party, his generals or his constituents, but to God. “I know that the Lord is always on the side of the right. But it is my constant anxiety and prayer that I and this nation should be on the Lord’s side.” Lincoln continued, directly attributing the scars of war to a loss of faith, “But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace, and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us; and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all those blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own.”
Early in the 20th century, President Calvin Coolidge and the country faced a continuing recession such as we do today. Coolidge not only worked to limit the size and scope of government, but he also sought to return America to that which made her great, her spiritual core. “We do not need more intellectual power, we need more spiritual power. We do not need more of the things that are seen, we need more of the things that are unseen.”
In the news of today, British Prime Minister David Cameron commented on the London riots. “Do we have the determination to confront the slow-motion moral collapse that has taken place in parts of our country these past few generations? In this risk-free ground of moral neutrality, there are no bad choices, just different lifestyles. ‘Live and let live’ becomes ‘Do what you please.’” While the excuses of financial depression are soffered on the streets, Cameron points to the true cause, his countrymen’s loss of soul.
Noted author and theologian C.S. Lewis noted, “You don’t have a soul, you are a soul. You have a body.” We must again find that soul within us and return to the innate principles hardwired into our very being, and turn not to a state made of fallen people, but return to that which has blessed us for so long.
The final book of the Christian Bible is Revelation. The Prophet Jeremiah was witnessing the revelation of the actions of man in his lamentations. Where Jeremiah provided a hope, Revelation provides a warning. “Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove the lamp from its place.” Without our lamp to guide the way, we will fail to be that shining city upon the hill, and instead tumble into darkness.

Email Robert Densic at letters@toledo freepress.com.

As I submit this article today I see that there was an op/ed in The Blade titled “Uncollege Caution.” My biggest regret is that I had not submitted this article 2 weeks ago when I originally penned it, but the conclusions reached in this article and in The Blade are vastly different. Let’s let readers decide who they agree with.

The attitude many have taken towards Generation Y has been that of a love/hate relationship. No one can deny that the current 18-35 age group has been responsible for some of the most incredible technological and social innovations that the world has ever seen, including Facebook and the development of the Internet (notice I do not say invention, but the development and optimization). However those cutting-edge individuals make up only a small part of an utterly useless generation of non-thinkers.

If we analyze the typical 22-30 year old today, following secondary school nearly 70% of them went to or are still in a 4 year college (http://www.bls.gov/news.release/hsgec.nr0.htm), some with a career path in mind but many are left to explorer the educational realm to find a fitting job. Looking at what has been going on in the job market as of late, many seniors have elected to return back to campus to complete Graduate Programs in a misguided effort to attain higher educational certifications which will, theoretically, command a higher salary. The logic here is “if I go back to school, spending roughly another $100,000 on my education, I will get a job that pays better and has better benefits” when the reality is the debt burden does not justify the decision. You can go to school for 50 years, but if your degree is not worthwhile, it’s a waste of capital (basically what I’m saying here is don’t go to college to study the mating habits of the North American Salamander expecting to make the big bucks).

Let’s run the numbers: From my research I have found that student loans owed post graduation range anywhere from $20,000-$80,000 for undergraduates and anywhere from $50,000-$120,000 for graduate schools at interest rates ranging from 3.5%-7%. Let’s run the numbers as middle of the ground as we can get and assume that a student’s undergraduate student loans totaled $50,000 at 5% and the student could forego graduate school for a $50,000 a year job. If the student allocated 10% of their pre-tax income towards paying of their loans it would take them just over 14 years to pay off their undergrad. Now let’s assume grad school loans total an additional $100,000 bringing total student loans owed to $150,000 at 5%, but your job salary goes from that $50,000 to $75,000, so you decide to put $8,000 a year towards that debt instead of the $5,000 from before. Now you have a salary that is 50% higher, but you’ve lost 2 years of working, taken on 3 times as much debt, and it is going to take you 57 YEARS to pay it all off! (www.BretWhissel.net)

Sadly, this generation seems to be one of sheep. No logic, rhyme or reason as to why they do what they do, they just go with the flow and continue onward. This doesn’t only refer to education, look at the G20 Summit Protests. Young people all over the world rioted and protested against the “disgusting capitalist system” and its participants…the same system that seeks to employ them or provides them will entitlement benefits from capitalist tax dollars, but I guess they didn’t pick that up at their respective 4 year institutions. The Wisconsin protests were another prime example of this lack of self thought or logical reasoning. Teachers took students to protest and gave them signs, but when the students were asked why they decided to attend they had no reason except that they were getting out of class (www.Breitbart.tv).

The sad fact of the matter is that this generation is more than content to sit back and wait for their entitled destinies to be spoon fed to them, following an illogical and expensive process in order to attain their goals, simply because that is what they have been taught, it is now second nature to them. No one thinks outside of the box, they are all too busy playing their Xbox. Nobody my age wants to work at what jobs are available or meet market demand for employment, they want to have the job that they were promised when they went to college, that they were certain they would receive upon graduation.

However there is still hope out there for this Generation of “Why?”  Technology entrepreneur and philanthropist Peter Thiel has taken notice of the frightening trend of students struggling to transition from “learning to learn” in a 4 year educational system to the real world of job creation and innovation. His charity, the Thiel Foundation (www.ThielFoundatin.org) has started the “20 Under 20 Thiel Fellowship” which will provide 20 students with a $100,000 grant to pursue their entrepreneurial dreams, if and only if they forego or drop out of their respective colleges. According to their press release, Thiel says, “The Fellows are a tremendous group of young people who are going to advance the frontiers of knowledge, shake up staid industries, and change the world. Tomorrow will not take care of itself. In order to solve vexing problems and increase the quality of life for people everywhere, the world’s economy needs continuous scientific and technical innovation from outstanding creative minds. I’m looking forward to helping the Fellows become the next generation of tech visionaries.” Students are also provided with mentors and a network of entrepreneurs and industry experts to consult on their ideas with. 24 Fellows were just appointed with focuses on biotech, career development, economics and finance, education, energy, information technology, mobility, robotics, and space. Applicants include students from nearly 24 countries who at one point attended the likes of Harvard, Yale, MIT and Stanford.

Many people are uncomfortable with the idea because it is so far outside of the social constructs that we are accustomed to. “Go to college, get a good job, further your career, settle down with a family, achieve a management position, then one day you can retire,” this is what has been drilled in our minds for years, however this process leaves no room for innovation or creativity which will better the world around us. It breeds an entire generation of lackluster drudges.  The world needs Generation Why? to step up follow the guiding principles of common sense and logic.

I want to be perfectly clear in my closing; College was a great experience and I truly did learn a lot, but not out of any textbook or exam. I learned how to survive on my own, deductive reasoning, problem solving, etc. Real life experiences taught me more than I ever could have asked for from a classroom. However if Generation Why? wants to start making a difference, they need to stop thinking of which college to attend or SAT scores and the like and start looking at the bigger picture, asking “what is wrong with the world today and what can I do to fix it?” If something is not done by my generation, you won’t see the top 1% controlling 90% of the wealth, you will end up with .001% of the population controlling 99.9% of the wealth.

Ben Treece is a 2009 Graduate from the University of Miami (FL), BBA International Finance and Marketing. He is a discretionary money manager with Treece Investment Advisory Corp (www.TreeceInvestments.com) and a stockbroker licensed with FINRA, working for Treece Financial Services Corp. The above information is the express opinion of Ben Treece and should not be construed as investment advice or used without outside verification.

“Dreams are nature’s answering service – don’t forget to pick up your messages once in a while.” ~Sarah Crestinn

Dear Lauri,
I dreamt I came home and the house was full of bees. I went in the back door and could not get it open to leave. They weren’t stinging or anything…but it was spooky.   – Chuck, Erie, PA

Lauri: Since the dream starts with you entering your home, it is connected to something going on with the home dynamic OR it is something you are bringing home with you when it probably ought to be left at work or elsewhere. Speaking of work, maybe that’s it. Are you such a “busy bee” that you work even when you are at home?  Bees can also represent the “buzz” the latest gossip. Is anyone in your home a big gossip? Or is there any gossip surrounding you that is really “bugging” you? Bees and other stinging insects in dreams can also be connected to painful and stinging remarks. The good news is that the bees weren’t stinging you… yet. This tells me that you may be in a situation that has the potential to be emotionally painful if you don’t “exterminate” the issue right away. Whatever these bees are, your dream is showing you that the situation is mounting and your home is not going to feel like home until this is taken care of.

Chuck replies: The buzzing of gossip and stinging remarks may be accurate. I’ve had some issues lately and been the subject of some nasty remarks.  My personality is to just internalize it, and so it may be manifesting itself in the bees. Good call!

FASCINATING DREAM FACT: Nicotine patches and melatonin are reported to increase the vividness of dreams and nightmares. The nicotine patch in particular is said to intensify dreams.

Lauri Quinn Loewenberg is a certified Dream Analyst, author of “Dream On It” and member of The International Association for the Study of Dreams. She joins The Kiss Morning Show on 92.5 every Tuesday morning at 7:10 analyzing listeners’ dreams. You can visit Lauri at www.thedreamzone.com

The progressive activist group MoveOn.org has announced a new Congressional lobbying campaign to be carried out this month. Called, “A Contract for the American Dream,” it’s based on a distortion of the American Dream, an out-of-context quote from the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Jr. (a Republican, by the way) and a couple of assumptions: That America as a nation is not broke, and that Americans need jobs.
The Contract has ten steps, each of which warrants examination:

1. “Invest in America’s  infrastructure.” Yes, but we’ve heard that for three years, and construction  employment remains depressed. Could it be because the Democrats are more  beholden to anti-construction, anti-growth, anti-development environmentalists  than to an industry that loyally supports them, even though construction  unemployment remains more than double what it was during the George W. Bush  presidency?
2. “Create 21st-century  energy jobs.” All right, how? I’d suggest letting the free market do this,  just as it’s done for so many other technological breakthroughs. But if there  is no market for the products, due to factors such as prohibitive cost, then  there’s no benefit. Those same environmentalists oppose this as well. They  claim that solar farms disrupt habitats, especially the sensitive deserts  where they would be most efficient, and that wind farms kill birds and bats  and are visually polluting.
3. “Invest in public  education.” The Contract nowhere calls for efficiency or results-based  accountability. In other words, throw more money at a broken system and keep  accepting inferior results. The call for “affordable higher education” is  especially absurd, given that progressive policies at institutions of higher  learning contribute so mightily to soaring tuition rates while compromising  the quality of the product.
4. “Offer Medicare for  all.” The call for improved quality and efficiency in health care is good, but  thinking that Obamacare is a good start towards this is not. Obamacare is  already violating their goal of lower cost and equal or better results – and  these folks say it doesn’t go far enough!
5. “Make work pay.” The Contract calls for employer  opposition to union organizing to be outlawed. Same for opposing a “living  wage,” which typically means whatever exorbitant amount a majority of  progressives want to force an employer to pay in order to buy the votes of the  employees, whether or not it the employer can afford it. Here’s the text:  “Americans have a right to fair minimum and living wages, to organize and  collectively bargain, to enjoy equal opportunity and to earn equal pay for  equal work. Corporate assaults on  these rights bring down wages and benefits for all of us. They must be  outlawed” (emphasis  added).
6. “Secure Social  Security.” Not by banning the spending of Social Security taxes as general  funds, but by confiscating even more taxes. In other words, give the addict  more fixes. And, of course, only “upper-income people” must pay more into it,  not Congress.
7. “Return to fairer tax  rates.” So who decides what’s fair? The progressives. If you – not them, mind  you, but only you – earn more than they deem appropriate, then the government  has the right to seize the rest. So much for private property rights being the  foundation of liberty, two concepts that are noticeably absent from the  Contract.
8. “End the wars and  invest at home.” Okay, but war doesn’t end until all parties involved  come to that understanding.
9. “Tax Wall Street speculation.” This is the classic  camel’s nose under the tent wall – “A tiny fee of 1/20th of 1%” on each  trade.” The income tax was originally a “tiny” 1.0% to 7.0%; now it is 10.0%  to 35.0%, and the progressives want much more. The same thing will happen  here.
10. Finally, “Strengthen Democracy.” This paragraph  contains more problems than space allows me to address. Suffice it to say that  the goal of “clean, fair elections” translates solely to progressive victory  by any means, and strengthening the Republic is as absent as any mention of  liberty and protection from tyranny.

This 10-point look into MoveOn.org’s version of the American Dream boils down to this: Enticing promises made without any intention of fulfilling them; increasing spending while continuing the status quo of waste and failure; extending failed programs; banning employer opposition to unions; erosion of your right to keep and enjoy the fruits of your labor; raising existing taxes and spawning more; and disregard for the nature of our Republic and the liberty that is its foundation.
Thomas Berry, for the Children of Liberty, http://www.meetup.com/The-children-of-liberty/<http://www.meetup.com/The-children-of-liberty/> .

The PGA Championship has been the final major of the professional golfing season for some time and is held annually among some of the finest golf courses that the United States has to offer. It has provided excitement, great champions and wonderful venues.  Who will ever forget Bob Tway’s hole out from the bunker in 1986 to beat Greg Norman at Inverness, Dustin Johnson’s faux pas from that camouflaged bunker at Whistling Straits in 2010 or even Keegan Bradley’s escape this year from a triple bogey on the diabolical 15^th followed by birdies on #16 and #17 at Atlanta Athletic Club to snatch the Wanamaker Trophy from Jason Dufner after a 3-hole aggregate playoff.

Even still, it seems to take a back seat to the other three majors, The Masters, The U. S. Open and The British Open. The Masters is the first major contested and harkens the awakening of spring every year. The press, players and fans have seven months to anticipate it and start looking toward the early April tournament as soon as the PGA Championship is finished. The Masters is held annually on hallowed Augusta National Golf Club, designed by the revered Alister MacKenzie at the request of the great Bobby Jones. The trip down Magnolia Lane and the beautiful images broadcast into our living rooms each year by the television coverage is just as important as the participants and the eventual winner.

Fred Altvater

The U. S. Open’s history and magnitude is unmatched within the United States. It is held in June around father’s day weekend accepts only the “best of the best” golf courses, Pebble Beach, Pinehurst #2, Shinnecock Hills, Oakmont, to host its tournaments. In addition, it is the every man’s tourney, anyone with a low enough handicap, whether amateur or professional, is welcome to qualify against the other 10,000 or so hopeful golfers, each with a dream of hoisting the U. S. Open Trophy.

The British Open, or as the R&A folks prefer to call it simply The Open, is the oldest golf tournament, crowning its first Champion Golfer of the Year in 1860, and is certainly the largest golf tournament held in the world. It is contested over some of the world’s most famous links style golf courses including St. Andrews, Carnoustie, Troon and Royal St. Georges. It accepts applicants to its qualifying tournaments from around the globe and annually hosts the most diverse field as players of various nationalities compete for the honor of holding the Claret Jug.

Then we come to the PGA Championship held in hot, steamy August, at the back end of the golf season. It seems to be somewhat anticlimactic every year. It does allow 20 PGA Club Pros to qualify and tee it up with the touring pros, but very few of them are able to make the cut and stay around for the weekend.

What would make the PGA Championship stand out? What could make it an event that would bring the golf world to a deafening crescendo at the end of the golf season? What could boost TV ratings, maximize excitement and bring the WOW factor as well as fill the PGA coffers?

With 73 PGA Tour wins including 18 major championships, Jack Nicklaus is arguably the most accomplished professional golfer in PGA history. Bobby Jones created the Masters and it became a major tournament. Nicklaus has the Memorial Tournament held at his crown jewel Muirfield Village Golf Club but it will never become a major. It’s close, just like Arnie’s little shindig at Bay Hill every year. They are both, however, probably a half a step below the Players Championship in most golfers’ minds.

What about playing the PGA Championship every year at a dynamite golf course?  Muirfield Village is a course that players, press, and fans rave about year after year and was designed by Nicklaus expressly as a major tournament venue. What about combining a lasting Memorial to the Greatest Professional Golfer of all time, Jack Nicklaus? That’s right, hold the PGA Championship at Muirfield Village in August. It should be a perfect time of year in Columbus, Ohio, much better than early June, with firm, fast conditions and right before football season starts up in Ohio. The tournament could even add Nicklaus’ name to the event in some form. It’s time for the PGA to think outside the box for their premier championship event. Yes, the PGA Championship is a major, but it has become an afterthought. The PGA Championship would be contested on a world class golf course, could recognize its greatest player of the past 40 years as well as garner huge press headlines and fan excitement.

I’m just saying it’s worth a thought. Catch you on the “Back 9”.

Well, I did it. I stayed up past midnight on purpose. In fact, I even stayed up until 4 a.m. with no breastfeeding, sick or prematurely awake kids in sight. It’s a minor miracle.

I can’t even remember the last time I attempted such a feat. By the time I turned 21, I was already head-over-heels in love with my not-a-partier husband and fully immersed in the full-time work world. As a young employee I had made a promise to myself to never allow my nighttime social life to interfere with my daytime work obligations. The one time I did stay out on a weeknight until 2 a.m., I still dragged myself into work on time. The very long day that followed, however, succeeded in then keeping my late night escapades restricted to weekends and holidays and eventually eliminated them altogether.

Once my children were born, I returned to the night life. Instead of friends, flashing lights and the loud and repetitive sound of dance music, it was just me and my little one, the flicker of late-night television in the dark and the loud and repetitive sound of crying. I spent my nights sitting with one eye open and a baby on my breast, changing diapers, memorizing the overnight TV line-up and discovering that Facebook may be the best mom-sanity-sustaining invention of all time.

As my youngest child cruises ever so quickly through toddlerhood, I would like to say that my middle-of-the-night mommy/child dates are a thing of the past. However, we have replaced late-night feedings and follow-up care with fevers, bad dreams, bedwetting and a general blatant misuse of mom and dad’s open-door policy. After eight years, I have given up any glimmer of hope that I will ever sleep through the night again. Apparently, I will be living with one eye and both ears open ad infinitum, especially throughout the teenage years.

Despite the continued need for nighttime parenting, my hours have at least been cut significantly since the newborn days. When the opportunity arose for a girls’ weekend just a few miles away in honor of my soon-to-be sister-in-law, I decided that my heavy-sleeping husband was ready to take the reins for a couple of nights. Aside from never having been away from all of my children at once during an entire night, the prospect of sleep uninterrupted by wailing and/or a foot in the face seemed like a pleasant enough idea.

I should have read my informational flyer a little more carefully, though, as there wasn’t one mention of a good night’s sleep on it anywhere. Such a mention would have been false advertising, as sleep was most certainly not on the agenda. The first late night was more a matter of half excitement and half anxiousness at being away for the first time in a long time than anything else. The second night, however, was purely reminiscent of the hanging out with friends, flashing lights and dance music of late nights past.

It was incredibly fun.

After we closed the bar and I delighted in the fact that I was still awake, exhaustion and the sleep-deprivation-induced sour stomach that has always accompanied such late-night revelry for me quickly set in and reminded me about why such a night out is a now rarity in my world. I would like to say that my weekend away was a good reminder about how much I truly enjoy my quiet, boring life at home, but that’s not the case. There is just nothing quiet or boring about my new life, ever.

I still have late nights, raucous laughter (and sometimes shouting), spilled drinks, loud music and general frolicking with a group of great people. The party is now just a party of five and takes place on a daily and nightly basis within the confines of our happy little home, just the way I love it.

Shannon and her husband Michael are raising three children in Sylvania. Email her at letters@toledofreepress.com.

The something old, new, borrowed and blue. The white dress. The vows. The rings. The kiss. Wedding ceremonies are full of tradition, and the reception is no exception.
From the speeches and cake-cutting to the tosses and dances, the after-ceremony celebration offers plenty of elements for couples to include, tweak — or drop altogether.
During his 30 years in the DJ business, Jim Lieber, owner of Sounds of Music in Maumee, said he’s watched many traditions remain while others have fallen out of favor.
The “Chicken Dance” is one tradition in decline, Lieber said.
“I’ve noticed if you play the ‘Chicken Dance,’ you probably won’t make it out of the building,” Lieber said, laughing. “It used to be, years ago, everybody played that; nowadays, you might get shot before you get to the next song.”
Other songs commonly found on couples’ do-not-play lists include”Y.M.C.A.”, the “Hokey Pokey” and the “Macarena”, said Doug Bermick, president of Professional Sounds in Toledo and Temperance, also a 30-year veteran of the DJ business.
“A professional DJ can entertain an audience, if they are good, without those songs,” Bermick said.
Lieber said he always respects the wishes of his clients, but sometimes reminds them songs are classics for a reason.
“Brides and grooms today, I think maybe because they’ve seen it over and over again at weddings, they want to do something different,” Lieber said. “They might be tired of hearing some of the songs, but it’s also my job to tell them more people will dance to something they’re familiar with. Weddings have a wide variety of guests and you’re not going to dance to something you’ve never heard.”

Photo by Grand Lubell www.grandlubell.com

Bouquet, garter toss
The bouquet toss — in which the bride tosses her flowers to a group of single ladies — is still done at a majority of receptions, Lieber said. But letting their grooms remove their garters in front of grandma and the gathered guests is a source of nervousness for many brides.
“I’ve noticed people are getting more conservative, which is weird because you see a lot more on television these days, but they just don’t feel comfortable,” Lieber said. “Sometimes the bride is embarrassed of their leg or just the guy going under her dress.”
The bouquet toss, which today marks the one who catches it as the next to marry, started centuries ago to appease and divert wedding guests who would try and tear off pieces of the bride’s dress for good luck. The garter toss stems from when the groom needed to prove the marriage had been consummated.
Toledoans Justin and Stephanie Longacre were married in 2003. They did the bouquet toss, but not the garter toss.
“We were too embarrassed to do it,” Stephanie said.
Megan Fowler of Toledo, who will be married this fall, said she and her fiancée, Joe Lindsey, are not planning to do either toss.
“Some of our friends are gay and can’t get married, many are already married and others have no intention of ever getting married for whatever reason,” Fowler said. “There are very few who would actually want to catch them. Also, we’re both kind of icked out about the whole garter thing. We’re pretty affectionate people, but that just seems like a gross PDA extreme. It always makes me uncomfortable to see when I’m a guest at weddings.”
Suggested alternatives posted to a message board on popular wedding blog Wedding Bee include splitting the bouquet into individual flowers and handing them out to female guests — or giving them to male guests to hand to their sweethearts.
Anniversary dance
Other couples give the bouquet to the longest-married guest couple as determined by a relatively recent reception tradition — the anniversary dance, in which married couples leave the floor as milestone anniversaries are announced until the longest-married couple remains, Lieber said.

“That has become very popular,” he said. “Years ago, that wasn’t even on the map.”

The bridal party dance is one now being done less frequently, Lieber said.
“I’ve noticed people have gotten away from that in the last few years,” Lieber said. “I think a lot of the reason is the bridal party has spouses or boyfriends or girlfriends.”
The father/daughter, mother/son and couple’s first dance are other wedding dance traditions. Fowler said the first dance is the wedding tradition she is most excited about.
“Not because we’re into dancing, but it just seems like it will be a nice moment to soak in the whole enormity of the occasion while listening to a song we love and sway-dancing like seventh-graders,” Fowler said.
Dollar dance or dash
The dollar dance, where guests pay a dollar for the opportunity to slow dance with the bride or groom, is popular because it offers one-on-one face time with guests, both DJs said.
“Weddings go by really fast,” Bermick said. “I would suspect some brides like that because they can talk and converse with their guests for a few minutes.”
A more fast-paced variation is the dollar dash. Upbeat music is played while the bride and groom run around the room collecting cash from guests in a competition to see who can get the most.
The song is usually money-themed, said Bermick, who frequently uses “Take the Money and Run” by Steve Miller Band, “If I Had $1,000,000” by Barenaked Ladies, “Money” by Pink Floyd,” or The O’Jays’ “For the Love of Money,” the theme song from “The Apprentice.”
Another option is a 50-50 raffle, where the bride and groom sell raffle tickets, with the couple taking half the pot and the winning guest the other half, Bermick said.
Bermick estimates about 40 percent of couples do the dollar dance, 40 percent do the dollar dash and 20 percent do the raffle.
“It just depends on their family tree and what they think they’re going to like the best,” Bermick said. “The bride and groom know whether they will have a good result with whatever they pick.”
Katie Huffman of Fostoria, who married her husband, Gene, in 2007, said she was hesitant to do a dollar dance, but family and friends encouraged her.
“I thought it was rather tacky, but everyone assured me I was wrong,” Huffman said.
The Longacres decided against any of the cash-collecting options.
“We felt it looked a tad gimme-gimme,” Stephanie said.
Holly Ellerbush of Toledo said she had no qualms — and no regrets — about partaking in all the traditional elements at her wedding to husband, Larry.
“We did every tacky wedding event from the garter to the grand march and we loved every minute of it!” Ellerbush said. “We even did the ‘Chicken Dance’ and the ‘Hokey Pokey’!”
While only the couple can decide what feels right for their event and what they are comfortable with, Lieber said he personally feels some wedding fun is lost by leaving out traditional elements.
“Some of this stuff can be an icebreaker and bring two families together and get group participation involved,” Lieber said. “Some of the brides and grooms are stiffer than they used to be. When I think about it, it’s because we’ve gotten away from the hoedown-type reception. When I first got into this business in 1978, it was very common for people to go to a banquet hall and have kielbasa, a cold sandwich and a keg of beer at the end of the line. People are more relaxed when they’re just building their own sandwiches. Receptions are a lot more elegant than they used to be and elegance can make it a little more stiff.”
To smash or not to smash?
Lieber said fancier receptions might explain why he notices fewer couples smearing cake on each other’s faces during the cake-cutting.
“There was a lot more of that back years ago,” Lieber said. “A lot of times the bride has her makeup. It really depends on the mood. My theory is if it’s a high-class wedding, you’re not going to see that, but if it’s more low-key and casual, you’ll see more of that.”
Huffman said she and her husband were in agreement about the cake feeding.
“One thing that was never up for debate by Gene or I was the smashing of the cake in each other’s face,” Huffman said. “It seemed terrible to spend $1,000 on a cake and smush it on our faces and possibly get it on our clothes.”
Fowler said she isn’t planning on a face full of cake, but is prepared for it anyway.
“Knowing Joe, I’m guessing it will happen,” Fowler said. “I don’t mind, because it’s all in fun.”

How to obtain a marriage license in Lucas County

In Lucas County, both the bride and groom must be present when filling out an application for a marriage license.
A marriage license is valid for 60 days after it has been issued. An ordained or licensed minister of any religion within the state who is licensed with the secretary of state or a judge in municipal or county court may solemnize marriages.
Marriage licenses can be obtained at the Lucas County Probate Court, 700 Adams St., Suite 200, Monday through Friday from 8:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. The cost of a marriage license is $50 and must be paid in cash.
What you need:

• Government-issued photo ID (driver’s license, state ID, passport or military ID)
• Social Security number (requested but not mandatory)
• Birth certificate for those younger than 21
• Copy of final Decree of Divorce, Dissolution or Annulment for those previously married
• Copy of previous spouse’s death certificate for widows/widowers

Ohio residents must obtain a marriage license in the county where either the bride or groom resides. There is no waiting period on marriage licenses and weddings may take place the same day.
For more information, visit the website www.lucas-co-probate-ct.org.
Source: Lucas County Probate Court