Carrie Bradshaw, a relationship columnist for the New York Star, is an expert on dating and relationships. The fictional Bradshaw and her group of friends share their relationship triumphs and blunders with the world in “Sex and the City” (SATC).
While the dating scene is much smaller in Toledo than in New York City, we at Toledo Free Press Star wanted to explore what dating is like for area singles. We asked women, ages 20s to 40s, to share what their friendships and relationships are like in the Glass City.
Danielle Desmond, a full-time nanny, believes “the dating scene is what you make of it.”
“People need to be more open-minded, Toledo is not big city, but there are still good people,” she said. “If you sit at home and complain about “no guys” in Toledo than change the reason you go out. Don’t go out to meet someone, go out to have fun.”

Danielle
The 24-year-old, who has lived in Chicago, Alabama and Los Angeles, said there are jerks everywhere and there are nice guys everywhere, Toledo is no different.
Desmond has a close group of girlfriends she hangs out and goes out with. The group is spontaneous and has fun no matter what they do, she said.
The women go to Walleye and Mud Hens games, bars — Blarney, Bunker, Nick & Jimmy’s, Arnies, Village Inn — make trips to Put-in-Bay, shop together and work out.
A fan of SATC, Desmond’s favorite character is Samantha for her no nonsense attitude. Samantha doesn’t become a victim of any man and reminds her friends of their strengths and flaws.
“My best friends in my life are the ones who tell me the truth. You need to be honest with your girlfriends,” Desmond said.
Dawn Hampton has been divorced for 12 years. The 46-year-old has spent the last 21 years focusing on her daughter’s life and is now taking the chance to focus on her own.
Hampton works nights as a home health care nurse, but finds time to go out with friends on the weekend.

Dawn
“There aren’t many places to meet people at my age. It’s very difficult, there’s a stigma out there,” she said. “It’s not a very dating friendly city.”
Recently, Hampton has been trying to fit more social activities into her life. Hampton goes out with her women friends to Bar Louie, Mud Hens and Walleye games, occasional concerts at the Omni, summer festivals and events at Centennial Terrace.
When she goes out, Hampton likes to surround herself with strong women.
Ann Petlow is a business owner. The 29-year-old works from home making women’s and men’s clothing and accessories.
Petlow balances her professional and personal life by going out on the weekend with friends and working during the week, she said.

Ann
Petlow has two close girlfriends she enjoys going out with. The dynamic recently changed when one of her friends had a baby, but she still goes out occasionally, Petlow said.
When Petlow goes out with friends they typically go to bars in Downtown Toledo on Adams Street. Bars she frequents include The Attic and Ottawa Tavern, which are good venues to meet individuals in their 20s and 30s, she said.
Petlow believes the biggest challenge in Toledo dating is meeting people who are “dateable.”
“We have a little shallow pond of dating because of the brain drain. The last time there were lots of eligible men to date was high school,” she said.
Petlow has recently started online dating where she meets mostly men from Cleveland and Detroit.
Ina Sidney is content with being single. The 44-year-old production worker is always on the move.

Ina
“I haven’t dated lately because I’m too busy. I’m always busy, playing sports attending networking events. I kind of just go and do. If I do go on a date I can tell right away if its not going to be,” she said.
Sidney is enjoying going out to different networking events and meeting new people. She has two core groups of girlfriends she hangs out with, Sidney said. One group that plans on being active in the community and speak with young women about attending school, she said.
The other group of friends Sidney just goes out with regularly for drinks.
Sidney admits that when she does meet new people they tend to be from out of town.
“The biggest challenge [in dating] is there are so many women available to the men. A lot of men are locked up and a lot of people are just moving away,” Sidney said.
The ‘Girl in the Glass City’ on men, dating and life in Toledo
Toledo has an abundance of incredible, attractive and available men. This city also has many beautiful, fabulous single women. The problem is getting the two to meet.
The problem is twofold. The easy problem to solve is finding common space for singles to meet. The more challenging problem is getting a meeting of the minds between single women and single men.
There are obstacles in the meeting of Glass City single men and women. These challenges are not insurmountable, and they will not be resolved by switching to a nearby city for dating purposes. The resolution, however, requires a little bit of philosophical reconsideration for the single ladies.

Christine
A bit of a warning, a meeting of the minds is more likely to be in line with values from “Sex and the City” than Midwestern Bible-Belt pulpits. Yes, the good church women who enjoy the movie and the series like to mentally skip over this fact, but “Sex and the City” is about sex.
The plot is fundamentally about the sexual desires and fantasies of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda and their travels in life and love. Not all of this sex takes place within the confines of holy matrimony.
If you want to live a fabulous, fun “Sex and the City” lifestyle and attract the attention of eligible men, you cannot forget the principle of the first episode when the characters decided to have sex like men. Ladies, this means sex is sex. Period. There is no future meaning. It does not mean white poofy dresses or gold rings. It does not mean McMansions with kids playing in the backyard. Sex is an enjoyable expression to be lived in the moment and for the moment, like a good meal or a trip to some place exotic. Want to attract desirable men in Toledo, NYC or anywhere? Do not be uptight, overly romantic or girly about sex.
Another principle that makes women attractive is to be open to life and people. The “Sex and the City” ladies live experientially and spontaneously.
The movie sequel, opening this week, promises even more of this with a trip to exotic Abu Dhabi.
Men like open and spontaneous women — and not just in the movies. Be engaged and connected with the possibilities of the moment, rather than some hope or distant dream. Make eye contact. Smile. Have fun where you are and with whoever is around you. Laugh. It does not mean that the man sitting in front of you is “the one.” In fact he probably is not. You do not have to be somewhere else to find interesting men. You will find plenty of intriguing men right here in Toledo provided you give them a few moments of your attention without placing the burden of the rest of your life on them.
One of never-to-be-forgotten principles of “Sex and the City” is to look fabulous. Women of the Glass City, on behalf of the available men, please step up your image game.
If you are wearing flip flops and old jeans, giving only passing attention to your hair and makeup, do not be surprised when men overlook you.
Women who are active, fit and pay attention to how they look will get more attention. Don’t blame men. Men are visual. Women are visual, too.
Ladies, if you are impressed with the figure, fashions and glamour of the “Sex and the City” girls, don’t you think men are as well? Thankfully, our Toledo standards are relaxed and more affordable given that we are not in the fashion capital of the world.
Ladies, if you want attention, be attention worthy. Present yourself as someone who is important and on your way to meet someone important, and you will meet the most incredible men right here in Toledo.
Christine Senack is also known as the Girl in the Glass City and regularly invites everyone to join her in creating exciting and fabulous lives in Toledo. Look for exciting singles events to begin in June. Follow her online at www.facebook.com/girlinthe glasscity and join her in life.