Rapper Wale looking for local opening actWritten by lilD | | firstname.lastname@example.org
One of the biggest complaints Toledo hip-hop artists commonly vocalize is the small window of opportunity to be heard by a mass audience. Club shows are OK, but when the same people go out every weekend, there is little room for growth. Apparently, these rappers do not have cars — or gas money — to drive to other cities to perform at those venues or their overall laziness keeps them in the vicinity, only to complain about lack of opportunity.
Well, hopefully Bowling Green isn’t too far to travel. I know 20 miles can be quite grueling, but if you can afford the equivalent of three hours’ pay at a minimum wage job for gas money, half the battle is already won.
Wale, Interscope Records’ latest recruit, will perform in Bowling Green April 10 and the promoters are going to let a local artist open up for him. The auditions will take place March 30 and 31. Both days of auditions will take place on the BGSU campus from 6 to 8 p.m. The March 30 tryouts take place in room 115 and March 31’s in room 363. There is a $15 registration fee, so hopefully that gold-plated chain didn’t set you back too far, aspiring rapper. The artist will have five minutes to impress the five judges, and it will be far from easy. This is not “American Idol”; you’re not going to make it on your good looks — well, good looks will help. The winner will be picked based on a wide level of criteria and appearance will factor in.
Rappers with a bleak future, go back to your first date. Remember how you made sure your hair was nice, your clothes were pressed and neat, your breath passed the self-check test and your every move was carefully calculated? If you and your significant other made it past the “honeymoon phase,” you eventually let yourself go, and all your lover longed for was that person you were when the two of you first met. So you make an effort to make sure on special occasions like birthdays and holidays, you make your significant other remember why he or she fell for you in the first place. Why is it that you put so much into the opposite sex, but show up to a performance like you have been dating it for years?
What many local artists fail to realize is that until a recording contract is signed, hip-hop is not your wife, but rather a very high-maintenance mistress. It is possessive and demands excellence, but will leave in an instant. You are not married to hip-hop until you can claim it on your taxes and just like you pursued your high school sweetheart, you must continue to strive for the honor to call yourself a part of hip-hop.
So do yourself a favor: replace that extra large, plain white T-shirt with one that fits, iron your jeans, and for Pete’s sake, see a barber or beautician immediately and do something with the hair follicles growing out of your scalp.
There are a lot of artists here who are timid, and may need some extra encouragement before doing something like auditioning to open for a national recording artist. Luckily, there is a forum that allows rappers, singers, poets and anyone else with talent, the opportunity to share their gift without fear of criticism or rejection. Every Saturday at 1811 Adams St Downtown, Michael “Mercury” Hayes and his label, U.G.E., hosts The Listening, an intimate, relaxed forum for undiscovered talent to sharpen up on their skills, so that one day he or she will be ready to perform on a bigger stage. If you have worn a shirt that was two sizes too big in the last year, I suggest you attend, and perform at, The Listening every Saturday until you have acquired a new wardrobe.
Get your wardrobe together, select your best song and practice. Go to The Listening this Saturday and don’t be afraid to ask for feedback. They won’t bite. Then, gather your $15 registration fee and head to BGSU March 30 or 31 to try and secure your place in front of thousands of people as you open up for Wale. For more information on the tryouts, contact Josh at 559-430-4338, or visit www.vizionsmarketing.com.
And when you don’t get picked, in between curses and incomprehensible exclamations of misplaced blame as to why you were not picked, find a mirror, and the answer will stare at you.