McGinnis: The most pointless Blackberry appsWritten by Jeff McGinnis | | firstname.lastname@example.org
I am a Blackberry addict. It is pretty much my favorite thing. If I were Linus from Peanuts, my Blackberry would be my blanket. It never leaves my side, and I feel naked without it. (Sorry for putting that image in your head.)
One of my favorite things to do is to comb through Blackberry App World. Not for new applications for my own phone — I look for entertainment value, in search of those apps that seem to serve no purpose but to inspire sarcastic laughter. They’re real. They’re pointless. And they go a little something…like this.
2012 Doomsday Countdown?Developer: CTWebStudio – Cost: $2.99?? I don’t want to ruin your day, but the world’s going to end in about three years. For real. The Mayans predicted it. Well, okay, no, they didn’t. Their calendar just finishes on that day. And somehow, that means the world’s gonna end. Because the Mayans knew something we don’t. ‘Cuz they were in touch with nature and stuff, man.
But let’s say you actually buy that the end of civilization is coming on December 21, 2012. Clearly, you will need a constant reminder of how soon your life will be ended by whatever calamity will be coming. Thankfully, CTWebStudio is there to fill this void for Blackberry users with the 2012 Doomsday Countdown app. Quoting the description:
“This entertaining application will quickly launch a countdown showing how far off the end is! It is updated by the second, and counts seconds, minutes, hours and days to the end!”
The thing is, a Blackberry already has a clock. It’s right there on the main screen. Doomsayers can just watch that clock slowly tick away and get the same effect. Besides, is there any scenario where knowing EXACTLY how long until the Mayan calendar ends is necessary? “Gee, Bob, I just don’t know if I have time to read that book. How long until the world ends, again?”
Coin Flipper Deluxe
Developer: MForma Europe Limited – Cost: $4.99
Let’s say you find yourself in a situation where there are too many options to choose from — like, two. You say to yourself, “Darn it! If only there was some way to randomly choose!” Well, my friend, hope is on the way! See, there are these things called “coins,” and usually, they have two different sides. Toss one in the air, and it gives you a random chance of landing on one side or the other.
But who wants to go through all that trouble when there’s an app? Yes, MForma Europe Limited provides users with this amazing program which simulates tossing a coin, right on your phone! Quoting the (grammatically-challenged) description:
“Have you ever flipped a coin in a situation when you couldn’t decide? If yes then the game coin flipper is designed exactly for you. It will solve even the most intricate life situations for you. You can select among six different coins of real countries and one lucky coin. So don’t let the others to take the decisions instead of you, flip a coin.”
Yes, “the most intricate life situations” will be solved for the low, low cost of $4.99. Wait. $4.99? Do you know how many ACTUAL coins you could get for that? Like, almost 500! You can keep a big jar of them by your side at all times for flipping purposes, and still come out ahead on cash. Even Two-Face wouldn’t download this one.
Developer: Bonfire Media Inc – Cost: $9.99?? For those of you who live under a low-tech rock, Wikipedia is this site that has detailed articles on almost everything. Anyone can edit it, which is great except for the fact that ANYONE can edit it. Using a Wiki for research is kinda like borrowing a book from the library only to find out someone else has taken white-out to half of it.
Still, there is a lot of useful information on Wikipedia, and thankfully, now Blackberry owners can access it using this app from Bonfire Media Inc. From the description:
“Carry Wikipedia wherever you go, and you’ll never be stumped again!…With WikiMobile, you gain access to all 2 million Wikipedia articles, including pictures and quick facts.”
Hey, do you have a Blackberry? Look at the main screen. See that globe-shaped icon? That’s the Internet Browser. Do you know how many Wikipedia entries you can access using that browser? All of them. Just go to Google, type in what you’re looking for and add “Wiki.” There you go. I’ve just saved you ten bucks. You’re welcome. Now, leave me alone. The world’s ending and I need to flip a coin.
E-mail Jeff at PopGoesJeff@gmail.com.