Animal farm
Written by Jenifer Christiaanse | | letters@toledofreepreess.comToledo-Lucas County Public Libraries are second to none. The libraries are among the great gems in Toledo’s studded necklace. But I have to take issue with their latest effort at thought control. Thought control from a public library? They are the ones who celebrate Banned Book Week! But their newest idea smacks of something Orwellian—something I learned from a teensy novel housed within its walls. In Animal Farm, you may recall, “All Animals Are Equal, But Some Are More Equal Than Others.” The pigs concluded they were more intelligent than the rest and became the supervisors. They bought (took) the farm and ruled the roost. Is the library banning porcine critters or communists? Nyet! They are ostracizing gas guzzlers!
I tooled into the revamped library on Door Street and saw the obligatory blue-lined parking spots for handicapped patrons. Though not a single patron was using this prime real estate, I wasn’t perturbed. As law-abiding citizens, we’re accustomed to this, and we’re happy handicapped individuals get proximity to doors. In fact, I’ve been known to give a withering look to patrons who park in the blue places who do not have handicapped tags or plates. I even applaud a new trend in some establishments that have pink zones for expectant mothers. Where were these places of privilege when I was tugging a toddler with another “baby on board”?
But then I tried to maneuver my family mini-van into the next group of parking spaces only to be rebuffed by the words emblazoned on the pavement– “Low Emission Vehicles.” What? I saw the handwriting on the wall, in this case the ground, and it made me tremble. Some of the citizens are more equal than the rest, and they get preferential treatment. Who decides this new politically charged snub? Who will police this? Will libraries be posting signs of cars which are deemed “low emissions”? Do hybrids and California-emission-approved vehicles have to be American made? What about diesel engines? Will the overtaxed library staff have a new burden to add to their list of duties? Is there a fine for offenders or is the stigma of having to walk enough punishment? Or, will their library card get revoked if they park in the wrong spot?
I noticed this same library is having patrons scan their own cards and items. Perhaps this is an effort to free up aids to do parking-lot duty.
In Animal Farm, initially Seven Commandments were painted on the barn wall. These were eventually broken and reduced to the one law that some animals are more equal than others. At present we seem to be in the Seven Commandment stage. We have meekly accepted valet parking at the malls (those who can afford this perk are more equal and get better service.) Some cities have HOV lanes (high occupancy vehicle). If you carry two or more in your vehicle, than you get the speedier and less congested lanes. Car poolers are more equal than other oinkers. Airlines have gold pass security lines for frequent travelers who earn an extra perk of zippy service while the hoi polloi meekly has to remove shoes, belts, coat, coins and more. Disney sells a special pass so those who want to spend even more so they can get bumped to the front of the line. And what of quotas?
Here are a few additional possibilities for parking elitism snubs. Spots of privilege for voting democrats. Places of prestige for those who hate Tom Skeldon. Special parking for the non religious, recyclers, and those who weigh under 200 lbs (after all, making the chubbers get extra exercise is in their best interest!). Parking lot distancing for those who did not vote for library levies. Or how about ostracism for those who are anti abortion? We can have a union/ non union parking. Perhaps a distant spot for undocumented aliens might be appropriate. Oh no, that would be discriminatory!
At supermarkets, those who buy with food stamps can stand in any line. Any thing else would be discrimination. But how about special lanes for those who buy fruits and vegetables? That would encourage good eating!
And we could really take it to an extreme…perks for those who are related to Sandy Isenberg . Oops, that is already in place. Innocent puppy killers would certainly deserve a special purgatory. Those who adopt animals from the animal shelter should deserve more than equal parking. Certainly Route 66 bar patrons should have to park far away. And by all means, Toledo Blade readers should have privileges! The Blade, after all, resembles Squealer—the pig who tries to persuade the others that pigs are more correct and more moral. We already know some swine who are very, very equal. Mr. Skeldon, Mr. Noe, Mr. Alexander and others have all suffered like Snowball who was the great scapegoat at Animal Farm. .
And so, dear reader, the goal in Animal Farm was for the worker animals to build a windmill—something with low emissions, something that was politically correct and environmentally friendly. Those who did not help, got booted and annihilated. Boxer, the horse, was sold to a glue boiler. It is not revolutionary to encourage the other animals on Farm Toledo to ignore the “low emission vehicles” signs. Soft tyranny is still tyranny. And, please don’t revoke my library card!
