What’s with women?
Written by Shannon Szyperski | | letters@toledofreepress.comThere has been a recent national media push to examine the lives of women in this modern, post-feminist era. From the Huffington Post to Dr. Phil to the cover of Time Magazine, everyone seems to be spouting off about where American women stand these days. Somewhat surprisingly, the consensus is that women are more powerful, more influential, more financially secure and less happy. Yes, less happy.
The first time I read that, despite their advancement in many ways, American women have grown more unhappy over the last few decades, I had quite the Jerry Maguire moment. I had a moment of clarity about how my little piece of the universe really is and an epiphany about how it could be better. I am not surprised that women are not as happy as they once were, and I think I know why.
Women aren’t what they used to be. Women used to be defined by their role as a wife, a mother and a homemaker. Whether your belief system is based on science, religion or a little of both, most of us can agree that, at least on a biological level, human women were created and/or evolved specifically to fulfill the birthing and nurturing role of the male/female equation. Over the last few decades, however, American girls have been publicly raised with the idea that their primary role in life is anything but these things.
There is no doubt a “have your cake and eat it too” component to our new place in society. Girls are being told that they can have career and family, no questions asked. We are told that we can get our education and have our career, and then we can throw a spouse and some children into the mix on down the road if we so desire. Every single human experience can be wrapped up into one little individual by the end of a lifetime. Any guilt we once had about overfilling our plate of responsibility has slowly faded into a sense of accomplishment for breaking the mold and finding a way to have it all.
So why all the unhappiness and the stress and the Lexapro? My theory is that for all of the things women have attained over recent history, such as money, power and equality, we have given up so much of who we were and so much of what natural and spiritual law beg us to be, that we have ended up with a net loss instead of a net gain. The things that are truly important to us and the essence of our being have taken a back seat to getting even.
In trying to right wrongs and gain more control, we foolishly gave up many of the things that were uniquely ours to begin with. In the name of equality, we have undermined our fertility, handed over influence of our children, subordinated our role as wives, diminished the sanctity of the home and removed family as an occupational option.
By giving unrestricted permission to our fellow females in recent years when it comes to behavior, we have set many of them up for a long, rough road ahead. From STDs to single-parenthood to birth control-induced health concerns, sexual liberation was not so liberating for some of our sisters. Not all modern women are basking in a post-feminist afterglow. Yet, we hesitate to admit it.
The strides women have made in recent history have no doubt improved many lives in many ways. We have certainly gained the confidence and the respect to do anything we so choose. At this point, it is a matter of asking ourselves if we should we be doing certain things just because we can. Are we really better off than we once were? Do we really have it all? Where, oh, where has our happiness gone?
Shannon Szyperski will be exploring how the actions and issues of modern women are framing the lives of children and families in the United States in a new blog, “What’s with women?” The blog can be found at www.WhatsWithWomen.com. She and her husband Michael are raising three children in Sylvania. E-mail her at letters@toledofreepress.com.
