A Shot at Greatness, Part IIWritten by Ray Barry | | firstname.lastname@example.org
When it comes to Fantasy Football, there’s only thing one I love more than draft day: TRADING. The fine art of negotiation, the thrill of the swap. It’s the sort of thing I live for.
Every September, I put myself on a strict diet of “Wall Street” and “Glengarry Glen Ross” — both of which I watch at least 37 times a piece. I also watch the original “Die Hard” religiously — but not for my usual reasons (jumping off an exploding building with a fire-hose tied around my waste is a life-long dream of mine). No, I watch it for Ellis: the coked-out, well-groomed, slickster yuppie who “negotiates million dollar deals for breakfast, babe.” You can learn a lot from a guy like that … like not to do mass-amounts of coke before an important business deal. A valuable lesson indeed.
And while the other guys are sleeping? I’m putting in the time and doing my homework. You’re out partying? I’m out on Rotoworld.com. Because the trick is to see the writing on the wall, see it before anyone else does. I play it like the stock market, watching for trends, reading between the lines. I pick up complete unknowns on waivers while everyone is still saying “who?” like a bunch of owls — and then I trade them sons-of-bees when their stock is sky-high. And come December, I reap it.
They don’t call me “2-for-1 Barry” for nothin’. Well, maybe they call me that because I used to have the hottest deals on ‘red tops’ since Marlo Stanfield took over the Barksdale corners on “The Wire” … but that was weeks … I mean years ago. I’m out of “the game” now, and I’ve since moved on to a new venture. One that I can utilize my skills and my shrewdness, my savvy and my cunning — to the point where I look like the Sam ‘Ace’ Rothstein of Fantasy sports. That’s how I get down.
Because it’s not about luck. It’s not about chance. It’s about studying up, doing the math, and schmoozing a guy at a fancy dinner. It’s about picking up free agents and knowing the value of a rookie wide receiver. It’s about hoarding all the running backs, even when you’re already carrying 7 of them. Because, as they say, “Greed is good.” And I’m a glutton for RBs.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some offers to make. Hold my calls…
Read Ray Barry’s blog, True Stories at Stanleyavenue.blogspot.com. Ray Barry can be reached at email@example.com.