Conventional wisdomWritten by Ray Barry | | firstname.lastname@example.org
I watched Obama and Biden speak at the Democratic National Convention. I also watched McCain and Palin give their speeches at the GOP convention. And as I watched ALL four of the nominee’s speeches, one thing stood out to me in particular: both parties have insane people supporting them. Literally, insane. It’s an image I can’t seem to shake.
I expected applause and cheering during the conventions. What I saw instead were frenzied crowds of zealots, people hanging on every word, nodding in agreement with every point. People swooning like the Beatles just arrived, holding up cardboard signs like WWE fans at SummerSlam. These people scared the hell out of me, truth be told. What was I missing?
It reminded me of when I was a kid and I used to watch “America’s Funniest Home Videos” every week. Bob Saget telling lame jokes, a video of some kid falling down — and people in the audience literally CONVULSING in their seats with uncontrollable laughter. I was ten years old and I knew they were full of crap. No video on that show was EVER that funny. So where did these people come from?
Observing the crazy supporters at the conventions was like watching a Ron Popeil Rotisserie Oven infomercial at 4AM. Ronnie shows you just how great his oven is (“…and what time-saver!”), the creepy co-host raves on and on about how WONDERFUL the oven is, almost to the point of ecstasy, and the audience shouts out the product’s catch phrase “Set it and forget it!!” in total unison. You’re wondering to yourself, “My God, how much did they pay these people to act like that??” It’s just bizarre.
Because I mean, really — what is your candidate saying that is actually making you sob big, fat, salty tears down your face? What points, exactly, did they make that had you screaming your head off and BOOING your rival party like you’re in the Dawg Pound at a Browns playoff game? Please, enlighten me. I’m dying to know.
Come on, fess up: they paid you guys to act like crazies, didn’t they? They GAVE you $1,400 bucks each if you promised to spazz-out and cheer like maniacs during their speeches, didn’t they? Come on, you can tell me…
It just makes me skeptical is all I’m saying. I adhere to the notion that if something sounds too good to be true, it usually is. Whenever I hear anything from a politician, I take it with a big grain of salt. So, naturally, when I see people writhing around, speaking in tongues and weeping over what that politician’s healthcare policy is … well, then I become especially skeptic. Then we’re talkin’ handfuls of salt.
Ray Barry — True Stories — stanleyavenue.blogspot.com
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